Malevich: Instructions for the Audience

As a member of the audience, you have a responsibility to respect the artists by behaving within boundaries suitable for this event. In order to guide you through an evening with Malevich, roll a die at the appropriate junctures.

AT THE START OF A PIECE

1. After no more than 8 seconds, warmly clap as if you recognise the piece
2. Stand up
3. Leave your seat and rush to the front
4. Excuse yourself and go to the lavatory; say sorry to everyone you pass
5. Comment that it sounds like another band
6. Look around to see if anyone is enjoying themselves

DURING A PIECE

1. With a contemplative expression on your face, nod in time to the beat
2. Sing along to every lyric
3. In a moment of inspiration, vow to form your own band
4. Stage dive
5. Clap along with one hand
6. Hope it ends soon

1. Quickly rush to the bar for more drinks
2. Clap loudly and appreciatively
3. Reminisce on how it was better the last time you heard it
4. Finally realise that experimental improvised electronica and text is not your bag
5. Promise to yourself to buy the Malevich back catalogue
6. If you are old, remember your youth; if you are young, remember this experience in years to come Malevich personnel thank you in anticipation of your co-operation